I’ve Got This

I have a lot of sober friends on social media, I am also a part of a few groups that help people get into treatment who don’t have quality insurance or the resources to pay for a decent level of care. It has always been a thorn in my side when someone who wants to get help cannot find a place that will take them because of either a lack of money or no insurance. There should be equitable access to
treatment resources for all here in the U.S. and I hope that becomes a reality, it hasn’t happened yet.

Sometimes I will see someone post on Facebook how they have 30, 60, 90 days of sobriety and I always “like” the post and say something like, “Welcome to your new life in recovery, I hope you keep working the program!” just a quick blurb to let them know I am happy for them and like to encourage anyone who is new to stick around. Then, I will see some asshole post something like, “You’ve got this!” Which perplexes me in so many ways. You’ve got what? This disease called alcoholism? Well, I have got that myself!

I don’t want to chastise those who have no idea what it takes to get and stay sober, that’s not my business. But never would I ever say, “Way to go Johnny! Happy six months of sobriety, you’ve got this!” None of us have “got this” maybe for today we do, but I have seen countless amount of people who I grow to love being around, seeing them active in the fellowship of recovery, sponsoring other people and taking commitments at meetings only to see them disappear. Let me be clear on something, I am nothing special in this regard and am just as susceptible as anyone to being in recovery one day and gone the next.

I can’t look very far ahead, ever. I used to hate the slogan in recovery, “One Day at A Time” and now I love it. I used to be saying to myself and others, “Yeah one day at a time, but what about tomorrow, next week or next fucking month?” My sponsor would just laugh at me and rightfully so. So back to this “You’ve got this” crap. That’s fine to say to some kid doing their homework, “Yeah, Jimmy, great job on your schoolwork, you’ve got this!” But there are no guarantees for any of us in sobriety, I can tell you this with absolute certainty, if I ever get loaded again, I will never get sober again and that’s a fact.

I always ask my higher power to allow me to remain willing and not let me disrespect what has been given to me, this life in sobriety that is amazing yet also fragile. I referred to people I know who are either back in the active disease of drinking and or using, or many who are dead because they stopped going to meetings and other things in life became their priority. Most common reasons we see people bail and sobriety get lost is one of two things: Getting’ busy with “the job” and makin’ money and the relationship that becomes priority one.

This theme is like a broken record in the rooms of recovery, which is why up to now I have made my sobriety the most important thing in my little world. There’s no negotiating this and I hope I don’t ever “F” that up. I have today, in fact as I am writing this, I am off to speak at my first ever Cocaine Anonymous meeting. I have never been to a CA meeting, but I was asked to do it and what the heck, I have a boatload of cocaine addiction in my story so I will go do my best.

Earlier today I was at a men’s meeting and now I am off to participate in another one, that’s a damn good day. And I’ll say it again, you’ll never hear me utter the words “I’ve got this, or you’ve got this.” I have a pretty good feeling I will be hitting the pillow sober tonight, but tomorrow we get right back at it. Men’s meeting at 10:30 am and some step work with a dude who has given me the honor of taking him through the twelve steps.

I can drive a car decently, in fact I will be driving my car to the meeting, so in that respect “I’ve got this” which is I can start the f’ing thing and drive the f’ing thing. I have heard a few people say during interventions that we jumped the gun and it’s not as bad as everyone thinks. In fact, I have heard a couple people say, “I’ve got this” and will handle the problem on my own. Buyer beware on that one, I am yet to meet someone who has been successful with that.

I often like to say, “today I am good, but I am not good to go” meaning, I must stay close to the program of recovery, but I am not done with it. The more I do in the program the better my days are, and I am good, but I sure as hell hope I don’t go anywhere and think I am too cool to treat my disease solo. I’ve gotta bail now, gonna get to that CA meeting and pray they don’t throw me out of there!

AS SEEN IN

TODD “Z-MAN” ZALKINS BLOG

June 20, 2024

Does a 12 Step Program Work?

I often get asked if twelve step programs really work, the short answer is “yes” they work beautifully if you participate and do the work. I hear from people all the time, things like, “Well I went to some meetings, and it didn’t work for me” or “My husband went to AA and he drank again.” Like you are supposed to wave a wand or take a magic pill and everything is going to be fine.

Without question, there is no debating, twelve step programs have arrested the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction for millions of people. There is no other program out there that even comes close. Therapy, exercise, petting horses are not going to keep you sober. So why do so many people rail against it when it is the most successful way of treating the disease on a daily basis?

I am a big believer in the old saying “to each his own” as it is none of my business how you get sober or how you stay sober, I am glad you are sober no matter what it looks like! However, for those who have any clue what “untreated alcoholism” looks like it is an ugly sight, and even worse if you are the one who is untreated. So, what does untreated alcoholism mean? Some people think if they are physically sober everything is or should be fine.

That is the furthest thing from reality. Being physically sober is wonderful to start, but then you are left with, well, just yourself and all the crazy thinking that comes with it: short fuse, fits of anger, emotional ups and downs and an overall unpredictability. Basically, not a whole lot of calm which twelve step programs seems to help so much with. If you cannot control the amount, you drink and your life is a wreck, you might be an alcoholic. We have this thing called a “we” program, where we work the twelve steps with a sponsor and help others, amazingly it seems to work for a fool like me who thought it could never work. Open mindedness is not a common trait for an alcoholic as he/she is constantly relying on their own self will, with no solution for the disease. I told myself I would give it a year and prove that the program sucked, all the sober people sucked, and I would just go on my merry way and get

loaded again and die. That is what happens to us if we do not arrest the disease, we will eventually die, go insane, or go to prison. Well, almost eighteen years later I am still going to these damn twelve step meetings, I have a freedom I never thought I could have, I have smiled and laughed a lot and cried a bunch too because we all go through hard stuff. Just because we are sober does not mean we are not going to be in the barrel and have to work through stuff. The beautiful thing is that because of this “we” program and sharing with others, most importantly working with others and helping the still suffering alcoholic and addict life just seems to work out.

One of the best lessons I have learned in recovery is: I am not particularly important, I am not all that cool, and I am cool with all of it. I do not have to try and be someone I am not like in the old days, which was so exhausting putting on a bullshit false front and being obsessed with everyone liking me. Footnote: I am not the only recovering person who feels this way, it is quite common to say the least.

We get to find out so much more about who we are and what this life thing is really about. For me, it is more about “giving” than “getting.” That includes being charitable of heart, love, kindness and wallet. In a society where the obsession is materialism and how much dough you have in the bank (all of these things I too chased for years and years, never making me happy at all) I have found that it’s the givers and the helpers who seem to be the wealthiest on the inside.

For anyone out there whose experience was negative in a twelve-step program I am sorry, for real. This is not a “one size fits all” deal, meaning there are meetings that fit just right for everyone, you just need to find it. The last thing, find a group you are attracted to, a room full of people you can hang with, give it one year and work the twelve steps with a sponsor who knows what they are doing, I have a pretty good feeling you might just stick around…I am glad I did.

#wecanrecover #interventionworks #sobriety

I often get asked if twelve step programs really work, the short answer is “yes” they work beautifully if you participate and do the work. I hear from people all the time, things like, “Well I went to some meetings,

Read more

April 24, 2024

I’ve Got This

I have a lot of sober friends on social media, I am also a part of a few groups that help people get into treatment who don’t have quality insurance or the resources to pay for a decent level of care. It has always been a thorn in my side when someone who wants to get help cannot find a place that will take them because of either a lack of money or no insurance. There should be equitable access to
treatment resources for all here in the U.S. and I hope that becomes a reality, it hasn’t happened yet.

Sometimes I will see someone post on Facebook how they have 30, 60, 90 days of sobriety and I always “like” the post and say something like, “Welcome to your new life in recovery, I hope you keep working the program!” just a quick blurb to let them know I am happy for them and like to encourage anyone who is new to stick around. Then, I will see some asshole post something like, “You’ve got this!” Which perplexes me in so many ways. You’ve got what? This disease called alcoholism? Well, I have got that myself!

I don’t want to chastise those who have no idea what it takes to get and stay sober, that’s not my business. But never would I ever say, “Way to go Johnny! Happy six months of sobriety, you’ve got this!” None of us have “got this” maybe for today we do, but I have seen countless amount of people who I grow to love being around, seeing them active in the fellowship of recovery, sponsoring other people and taking commitments at meetings only to see them disappear. Let me be clear on something, I am nothing special in this regard and am just as susceptible as anyone to being in recovery one day and gone the next.

I can’t look very far ahead, ever. I used to hate the slogan in recovery, “One Day at A Time” and now I love it. I used to be saying to myself and others, “Yeah one day at a time, but what about tomorrow, next week or next fucking month?” My sponsor would just laugh at me and rightfully so. So back to this “You’ve got this” crap. That’s fine to say to some kid doing their homework, “Yeah, Jimmy, great job on your schoolwork, you’ve got this!” But there are no guarantees for any of us in sobriety, I can tell you this with absolute certainty, if I ever get loaded again, I will never get sober again and that’s a fact.

I always ask my higher power to allow me to remain willing and not let me disrespect what has been given to me, this life in sobriety that is amazing yet also fragile. I referred to people I know who are either back in the active disease of drinking and or using, or many who are dead because they stopped going to meetings and other things in life became their priority. Most common reasons we see people bail and sobriety get lost is one of two things: Getting’ busy with “the job” and makin’ money and the relationship that becomes priority one.

This theme is like a broken record in the rooms of recovery, which is why up to now I have made my sobriety the most important thing in my little world. There’s no negotiating this and I hope I don’t ever “F” that up. I have today, in fact as I am writing this, I am off to speak at my first ever Cocaine Anonymous meeting. I have never been to a CA meeting, but I was asked to do it and what the heck, I have a boatload of cocaine addiction in my story so I will go do my best.

Earlier today I was at a men’s meeting and now I am off to participate in another one, that’s a damn good day. And I’ll say it again, you’ll never hear me utter the words “I’ve got this, or you’ve got this.” I have a pretty good feeling I will be hitting the pillow sober tonight, but tomorrow we get right back at it. Men’s meeting at 10:30 am and some step work with a dude who has given me the honor of taking him through the twelve steps.

I can drive a car decently, in fact I will be driving my car to the meeting, so in that respect “I’ve got this” which is I can start the f’ing thing and drive the f’ing thing. I have heard a few people say during interventions that we jumped the gun and it’s not as bad as everyone thinks. In fact, I have heard a couple people say, “I’ve got this” and will handle the problem on my own. Buyer beware on that one, I am yet to meet someone who has been successful with that.

I often like to say, “today I am good, but I am not good to go” meaning, I must stay close to the program of recovery, but I am not done with it. The more I do in the program the better my days are, and I am good, but I sure as hell hope I don’t go anywhere and think I am too cool to treat my disease solo. I’ve gotta bail now, gonna get to that CA meeting and pray they don’t throw me out of there!

I have a lot of sober friends on social media, I am also a part of a few groups that help people get into treatment who don’t have quality insurance or the resources to pay for a decent level of

Read more

April 24, 2024

Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Being newly sober is weird. I can vividly remember being in a state of discomfort on a constant basis. For several months during the detox period which for me seemed to last forever, that was the source of my discomfort. As time moved along and the pains of getting physically sober minimized, I found other things to get uncomfortable about. (more…)

Being newly sober is weird. I can vividly remember being in a state of discomfort on a constant basis. For several months during the detox period which for me seemed to last forever, that was the source of my discomfort.

Read more

April 24, 2024

Brain on Drugs

In late 2006 I was experiencing loss of speech patterns, tremors, often not having the ability to speak in complete sentences. My primary care physician knew I was sick, and drug addicted, suggesting I go to rehab immediately. He also wanted me to get my brain scanned at a place called the Amen Clinic in Orange County. I went ahead and did it, not having a clue what the point was in getting such a thing done.

(more…)

In late 2006 I was experiencing loss of speech patterns, tremors, often not having the ability to speak in complete sentences. My primary care physician knew I was sick, and drug addicted, suggesting I go to rehab immediately. He also

Read more

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Todd is more than an interventionist, public speaker, and author, he’s a storyteller and motivator, who inspires others as a thought-leader on recovery, to not only realize their potential, but live it.

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