I have a lot of sober friends on social media, I am also a part of a few groups that help people get into treatment who don’t have quality insurance or the resources to pay for a decent level of care. It has always been a thorn in my side when someone who wants to get help cannot find a place that will take them because of either a lack of money or no insurance. There should be equitable access to
treatment resources for all here in the U.S. and I hope that becomes a reality, it hasn’t happened yet.

Sometimes I will see someone post on Facebook how they have 30, 60, 90 days of sobriety and I always “like” the post and say something like, “Welcome to your new life in recovery, I hope you keep working the program!” just a quick blurb to let them know I am happy for them and like to encourage anyone who is new to stick around. Then, I will see some asshole post something like, “You’ve got this!” Which perplexes me in so many ways. You’ve got what? This disease called alcoholism? Well, I have got that myself!

I don’t want to chastise those who have no idea what it takes to get and stay sober, that’s not my business. But never would I ever say, “Way to go Johnny! Happy six months of sobriety, you’ve got this!” None of us have “got this” maybe for today we do, but I have seen countless amount of people who I grow to love being around, seeing them active in the fellowship of recovery, sponsoring other people and taking commitments at meetings only to see them disappear. Let me be clear on something, I am nothing special in this regard and am just as susceptible as anyone to being in recovery one day and gone the next.

I can’t look very far ahead, ever. I used to hate the slogan in recovery, “One Day at A Time” and now I love it. I used to be saying to myself and others, “Yeah one day at a time, but what about tomorrow, next week or next fucking month?” My sponsor would just laugh at me and rightfully so. So back to this “You’ve got this” crap. That’s fine to say to some kid doing their homework, “Yeah, Jimmy, great job on your schoolwork, you’ve got this!” But there are no guarantees for any of us in sobriety, I can tell you this with absolute certainty, if I ever get loaded again, I will never get sober again and that’s a fact.

I always ask my higher power to allow me to remain willing and not let me disrespect what has been given to me, this life in sobriety that is amazing yet also fragile. I referred to people I know who are either back in the active disease of drinking and or using, or many who are dead because they stopped going to meetings and other things in life became their priority. Most common reasons we see people bail and sobriety get lost is one of two things: Getting’ busy with “the job” and makin’ money and the relationship that becomes priority one.

This theme is like a broken record in the rooms of recovery, which is why up to now I have made my sobriety the most important thing in my little world. There’s no negotiating this and I hope I don’t ever “F” that up. I have today, in fact as I am writing this, I am off to speak at my first ever Cocaine Anonymous meeting. I have never been to a CA meeting, but I was asked to do it and what the heck, I have a boatload of cocaine addiction in my story so I will go do my best.

Earlier today I was at a men’s meeting and now I am off to participate in another one, that’s a damn good day. And I’ll say it again, you’ll never hear me utter the words “I’ve got this, or you’ve got this.” I have a pretty good feeling I will be hitting the pillow sober tonight, but tomorrow we get right back at it. Men’s meeting at 10:30 am and some step work with a dude who has given me the honor of taking him through the twelve steps.

I can drive a car decently, in fact I will be driving my car to the meeting, so in that respect “I’ve got this” which is I can start the f’ing thing and drive the f’ing thing. I have heard a few people say during interventions that we jumped the gun and it’s not as bad as everyone thinks. In fact, I have heard a couple people say, “I’ve got this” and will handle the problem on my own. Buyer beware on that one, I am yet to meet someone who has been successful with that.

I often like to say, “today I am good, but I am not good to go” meaning, I must stay close to the program of recovery, but I am not done with it. The more I do in the program the better my days are, and I am good, but I sure as hell hope I don’t go anywhere and think I am too cool to treat my disease solo. I’ve gotta bail now, gonna get to that CA meeting and pray they don’t throw me out of there!

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