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January 15, 2024

My Diseased Perception

It is often said that the disease of alcoholism/addiction is a disease of perception. There is a lot to this, so I will do my best to explain. While I am preparing a family for an intervention one of the things I repeatedly say is, “Your son (or whomever we are intervening on) is not seeing things clearly. For example, tomorrow at the intervention he may indicate to us that he does not have a drug problem. We know that is not the case because that is why all of us are here to begin with. We are taking action by intervening on your loved one because all of you see that there is a huge problem and it’s our job to point that out at the intervention tomorrow.”
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It is often said that the disease of alcoholism/addiction is a disease of perception. There is a lot to this, so I will do my best to explain. While I am preparing a family for an intervention one of the

Read more

December 26, 2023

The Emotional Hangover

For all of us who actively lived in the disease of alcohol and drug use disorder we experienced ridiculous amounts of physical pain from using. In the treatment world there has been a shift with how the disease is referred to. Personally, I prefer alcoholism and drug addiction. References and terms of how things were referred to for decades have changed to new and I guess more socially acceptable. Call it what you like, but I have never had a family calling me to discuss an intervention say to me, “Can you please help? My son is killing himself with his substance use disorder!” Not once, and I have facilitated hundreds of interventions all over the country. (more…)

For all of us who actively lived in the disease of alcohol and drug use disorder we experienced ridiculous amounts of physical pain from using. In the treatment world there has been a shift with how the disease is referred

Read more

December 21, 2023

H.A.L.T.!!!

We have a lot of goofy terms and saying in recovery, “First Things First” or “Do the Next Indicated Thing” the list is pretty long. When I was newly sober, I was absolutely insane, my thinking wasn’t the best that’s for damn sure. I would say to myself, “Yeah, the next indicated thing for me is a twelve pack of beer and a couple of 8 Balls.” My sponsor would laugh and tell me, “You can’t fix a broken brain with a broken brain!” What in the hell does that mean!!?? (more…)

We have a lot of goofy terms and saying in recovery, “First Things First” or “Do the Next Indicated Thing” the list is pretty long. When I was newly sober, I was absolutely insane, my thinking wasn’t the best that’s

Read more

December 18, 2023

No Sleep for 44 Days

I am often asked, “Why did you not sleep for 44 days and how did you deal with that?” This requires a two-part answer and a great deal of elaboration. The “why” of it is not so much a mystery as it was a complete f’ing nightmare. I will illustrate the contributing factors, for one, I was addicted to opioid painkillers for about 17 years, many years addicted to the synthetic opioids Oxycontin and Fentanyl. Prior to checking into rehab on 2/16/07 I also snorted a truckload of cocaine, for a little over a hundred days straight all while taking the painkillers.

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I am often asked, “Why did you not sleep for 44 days and how did you deal with that?” This requires a two-part answer and a great deal of elaboration. The “why” of it is not so much a mystery

Read more

December 14, 2023

Brain on Drugs

In late 2006 I was experiencing loss of speech patterns, tremors, often not having the ability to speak in complete sentences. My primary care physician knew I was sick, and drug addicted, suggesting I go to rehab immediately. He also wanted me to get my brain scanned at a place called the Amen Clinic in Orange County. I went ahead and did it, not having a clue what the point was in getting such a thing done.

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In late 2006 I was experiencing loss of speech patterns, tremors, often not having the ability to speak in complete sentences. My primary care physician knew I was sick, and drug addicted, suggesting I go to rehab immediately. He also

Read more

December 12, 2023

Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Being newly sober is weird. I can vividly remember being in a state of discomfort on a constant basis. For several months during the detox period which for me seemed to last forever, that was the source of my discomfort. As time moved along and the pains of getting physically sober minimized, I found other things to get uncomfortable about. (more…)

Being newly sober is weird. I can vividly remember being in a state of discomfort on a constant basis. For several months during the detox period which for me seemed to last forever, that was the source of my discomfort.

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December 7, 2023

I’ve Got This

I have a lot of sober friends on social media, I am also a part of a few groups that help people get into treatment who don’t have quality insurance or the resources to pay for a decent level of care. It has always been a thorn in my side when someone who wants to get help cannot find a place that will take them because of either a lack of money or no insurance. There should be equitable access to
treatment resources for all here in the U.S. and I hope that becomes a reality, it hasn’t happened yet. (more…)

I have a lot of sober friends on social media, I am also a part of a few groups that help people get into treatment who don’t have quality insurance or the resources to pay for a decent level of

Read more

December 7, 2023

The Obsession to Drink or Use Will Leave Us

I had the opportunity and privilege to speak at Hazelden-Betty Ford in Rancho Mirage, Ca a few nights ago. It just so happens I live about 15 minutes away from the facility, I have what is known in recovery as an H&I Panel, which stands for “Hospitals and Institutions.” This is something that is a gift for all of us who do it, it’s part of the 12 th step where we get to carry the message to the still suffering alcoholic/addict. (more…)

I had the opportunity and privilege to speak at Hazelden-Betty Ford in Rancho Mirage, Ca a few nights ago. It just so happens I live about 15 minutes away from the facility, I have what is known in recovery as

Read more

November 24, 2023

How Long Should I Be in Treatment?

This is one of the great hurdles we face. With intervention, we always lay out not just the statistical facts, but the facts based on our experience. An individual who is in treatment for 90 days is 5 times more likely to have sustained sobriety versus 30 days of care. Think about this: let’s say your loved one has drank/used drugs for ten years on a consistent basis. That’s 3,650 days of the body being dominated by mind altering substances. (more…)

This is one of the great hurdles we face. With intervention, we always lay out not just the statistical facts, but the facts based on our experience. An individual who is in treatment for 90 days is 5 times more

Read more

November 21, 2023

Letting Go

For most of my life I was incapable of taking direction and listening, especially to anyone in a position of authority. I can now trace this back to when I was a kid. After being let down so many times by my dad, I believed utter rebellion was the medicine and corrective action to take. This came in the form of acting out in school as early as the first grade. One time my buddy Preston and I thought it was a good idea to leave the school grounds and walk the 150 yards or so to his house. (more…)

For most of my life I was incapable of taking direction and listening, especially to anyone in a position of authority. I can now trace this back to when I was a kid. After being let down so many times

Read more

November 16, 2023

Fentanyl and Oxycontin Nightmare

In late 1998 I was prescribed Oxycontin, already addicted to Norco and Vicodin I knew I was destroying my liver and kidneys with the massive amounts of acetaminophen the drugs possess. I was told that Oxycontin wasn’t addictive which didn’t matter to me as I was already eight years into my opioid dependence. (more…)

In late 1998 I was prescribed Oxycontin, already addicted to Norco and Vicodin I knew I was destroying my liver and kidneys with the massive amounts of acetaminophen the drugs possess. I was told that Oxycontin wasn’t addictive which didn’t

Read more

November 15, 2023

The Drug Landscape Today

Street drugs are far different today than they were five, ten, fifteen years ago.

During the 24 years I spent in active addiction I never had to worry about what I was buying. Other than different ways the cocaine was cut the pills and opioids were dependable in the fact I knew what I was about to ingest. (more…)

Street drugs are far different today than they were five, ten, fifteen years ago. During the 24 years I spent in active addiction I never had to worry about what I was buying. Other than different ways the cocaine was

Read more

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TODD “Z-MAN” ZALKINS BLOG

January 15, 2024

My Diseased Perception

It is often said that the disease of alcoholism/addiction is a disease of perception. There is a lot to this, so I will do my best to explain. While I am preparing a family for an intervention one of the

Read more

December 26, 2023

The Emotional Hangover

For all of us who actively lived in the disease of alcohol and drug use disorder we experienced ridiculous amounts of physical pain from using. In the treatment world there has been a shift with how the disease is referred

Read more

December 21, 2023

H.A.L.T.!!!

We have a lot of goofy terms and saying in recovery, “First Things First” or “Do the Next Indicated Thing” the list is pretty long. When I was newly sober, I was absolutely insane, my thinking wasn’t the best that’s

Read more

December 18, 2023

No Sleep for 44 Days

I am often asked, “Why did you not sleep for 44 days and how did you deal with that?” This requires a two-part answer and a great deal of elaboration. The “why” of it is not so much a mystery

Read more

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Todd is more than an interventionist, public speaker, and author, he’s a storyteller and motivator, who inspires others as a thought-leader on recovery, to not only realize their potential, but live it.

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